some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
