If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
