I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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