if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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