My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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