you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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