my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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