They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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