Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have tasted many bathrooms
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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