His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
