sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
