Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
