she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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