You really coming over, don't trick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
