Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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