I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize