I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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