Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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