let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
