K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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