You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
