are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
