Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
