i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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