i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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