My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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