You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
