Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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