before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
