hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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