I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
