She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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