Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
