I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
