please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
