Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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