hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
