Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
50% drunk capacity currently
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
