got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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