I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
