We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My feet surprised me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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