you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
