Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
