tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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