onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
