he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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