Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Mom said you looked used
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
