It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
