I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
