I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
