I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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