i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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